Tough Talk

Tough Talk,

I have been doing research on catering companies for a company lunch which will be very important for my career. There is one company I like, but their website had four typos.  I’m not sure if I should overlook these errors or take this as a sign that they won’t do a good job.  What do you think I should do TT? (Redlein, Minnesota)

Redley,

Stop being a dope.  Not sure how that has anything to do with anything.  Did you also grade them on punctuation?  My advice is to pull your head up from out of your ass.

###

Tough Talk,

My son and his wife live about an hour from our home.  His wife’s family live in the same town.  They always spend the holidays with her parents and family, but never even consider visiting or inviting us down for one of their parties. They don’t seem to care and we feel ignored and hurt.  What should we do TT? (Claremont, Kentucky)

Claremont,

You just have to accept that your son is very selfish and inconsiderate and you also have to accept that it is ultimately your fault for his behavior.  Sounds like you spoiled him rotten.  Not much you can do other than explain what a piece of crap he is for disrespecting you so badly.

###

Tough Talk,

My husband and I have just been invited to our Grandson’s wedding.  At the engagement party we met her relatives who were a bit stand-offish.  We have just been told that they would like my husband to shave and significantly trim his moustache and sideburns for the ceremony.  We love this boy and want to make him happy, but this is from the bride’s side of the family.  TT, what’s your advice? (Wendell, Wisconsin)

Wendy,

Nothing is worse than a complete stranger using a family event to boss a person around even thinking they can demand a change in his appearance.  You tell them that he’ll shave his moustache if they show up buck naked, in clown suits or pound a spike into their head.  Who do they think they are asking that?  And after that tell them to FO&DD. They should be ashamed of themselves.

###

Tough Talk,

I have issues with makeup and rarely use it due to rashes and other outbreaks.  Recently I have gone to both family and work functions where some of my friends, family and colleagues have made comments like I was being rude for not wearing this stuff.  I’ve tried to ignore it, but now these snide remarks are a continual ritual at the bathroom mirror.  What should I do TT? (Parkhurst, Colorado)

Parkurst,

Ask them what the hell do they care?  Or, have you thought about getting your own life you Squidley loser?  Clearly they have a bug up their ass and don’t worry about being rude to them in the future, especially at these get-togethers.

###

Tough Talk,

It’s very important to me to understand how the new gender designations should be applied to social settings, invitations, greeting cards, dinner settings and whatnot. What advice do you have in this new and exciting area? (Melwood, Arizona)

Melwood,

I could give a rat’s ass about this “new and exciting area” of wackage.  Who gives a damn? Get a life and stop being a pathetic loser. ###

Tough Talk,

I’ve been dating a man who was dumped by his girlfriend and she also did a bunch of stuff to him including leaving him with a huge debt.  She really ripped him off.  He popped the Q . . . but then a few days later he told me she called him and wants to get back together with him.  He’s not sure what to do.  What do you think TT? (Hillsdale, Florida)

Hills-,

You should tell him to follow his heart (and obviously gross stupidity) and shack back up with her.  And after she uses him like toilet paper and he comes crawling back, you can tell him to FO&DD.  If you don’t do this, you are even more than stupid than he is.

###

Tough Talk,

My little sister is having her first baby and the whole family is excited for her and her husband.  I’m a little concerned and believe they should raise the child with particular values and beliefs which differ from my sister and most certainly her husband.  How I should make it clear that they really need to follow this advice for the sake the child.  (Erskine, Virginia)

 Ersky,

You are a total wackjob for thinking you can impose these views on a couple even if she is your little sister.  Sounds like you are taking the powertrip train and you’re the conductor. Also, you have a strong whiff of pomposity.   My advice is to drill a hole in your head and remove all the stupid juice you have accumulated up there.  You’ll definitely need a power drill.

###

Tough Talk,

My boyfriend and I have been together for several years.  He has been unemployed for long periods and I have always helped him and took care of him during these times.  But I just learned that he has been spending our money and making credit card charges for two or three younger women.  He says he’s helping them and just being friendly, but he has lied and only told me when I confronted him with the evidence.  I feel betrayed. I’m not sure what to do TT – what do you think? (Kedgewood, Arizona)

Kedge –

What he has done to you is obscene and disgusting.  But you should also be ashamed of yourself for shacking up with such a degenerate scoundrel.  Boot his ass from the house immediately and cut Squidley loose like three day old fish.  If you don’t do this, you are a dope and a stooge.

###

Tough Talk,

My second wife and I live with my daughter and her husband and are about to have their first child.  She loves me dearly, but it’s obvious that she and her husband don’t like my wife and insist that the child will call her by her first name instead of Grams.  I know this is going bubble over and cause a problem even before the child is born.  TT I really need some advice here. (Wellington, Mississippi)

Wellton,

Sounds like a pile of HS to me.  I wouldn’t worry about this type of nonsense unless you carry guns.  Hopefully a fight won’t break out.  Get a grip.

###

Tough Talk,

I have been invited to my brother-in-law’s wedding as a bridesmaid.  I’ve come to believe that this marriage is immoral and a vessel of sin and will not participate in this blasphemy.  Do you think I should give back all the gifts I received for agreeing to do this? (Pittslake, Illinois)

Pittsuloke,

Of course not.  Why on earth would you do that?  But you should still attend the wedding and when the preacher asks for anyone to say why this union should not go forward, you need to pipe up and be honest with your feelings and emotions. Otherwise, you are a coward.

###