Tough Talk

Tough Talk,

I have a couple of friends who never respond to my calls, texts or messages as soon as I would like and take forever, always seeming to blow me off as they miss a party or other get-together.  I want to express my disapproval, but don’t want to come across as uptight.  What do you think I should do? (Edgewood, Indiana)

(Ed),

Your friends are blowing you off and I wouldn’t waste your time expressing your disapproval or expecting them to give a damn about your feelings. Stop sending them messages and see how long it takes for them to call you.  My guess is you won’t hear from them anytime soon.

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Tough Talk,

I am a single middle-aged man and although I’m not with anyone, I’m very happy.  There’s this one woman at work who I’ve been told accused me of being stuck-up and arrogant which is totally untrue TT.  I think she likes me, but I find her repulsive both physically and mentally.  What do you think I should do TT? (Weedsport, West Virginia)

Weeds,

On the one hand, who gives a damn what this bimbo thinks.  On the other hand, figure out some way to really annoy her, like hide or destroy her lunch or empty a jar of molasses or apple sauce into her desk drawer.  Be creative.  She definitely has it coming.

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Tough Talk,

I’m not a spring chicken, but look young for my age and sometimes people confusing me for a teenager.  I have three children and although I’m not perfect, I am a very good mother with a lot of experience.  What is bothering me is that some of my neighbors always lecture me on being a good mother with advice that is totally obvious or common sense. I am sick of their condescending attitude, but not sure how to handle it.  What do you think I should do TT? (Allenhurst, Utah)

Allen,

Next time these nosey biddies get in your face, tell them that only a complete moron explains the obvious.  And that the only reason they act superior is that they are jealous that you look so young.  (It’s always that way with women.)  Then tell them to FO&DD! And make sure you do it in front of the kids.  This will serve a model to guide them in later years.

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Tough Talk,

We just moved to a new neighborhood and immediately hit it off with a wonderful couple just down the street.  We have the same interests and my husband and I thought we had found friends for life.  Everything was going great until we learned that we are of the opposite political party.  Then they just disappeared and don’t even acknowledge us when we see them on the street or in town.  Do you think I should reach out to them to see if there is any way we can resolve this conflict? (Ritchfield, Maine)

Ritchie,

No.  I don’t.  What you should do is figure out ways to have your party and candidates send them campaign literature, requests for donations and fundraiser invites . . . and of course telephone solicitations.  Also, maybe you can put campaign signs in their front yard or bumper stickers on their car.  Hopefully, you will be able to observe their reaction when they get home or wake up on a Sunday morning.  And one other thing, they are obviously not a wonderful couple so pull your head up out of your ass.

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Tough Talk,

My son is really smart and has won several scholarships and grants to attend several colleges of his choice.  There will be costs, but these will be manageable and he has solid career goals and I know he will succeed.  However, my second wife wants him to attend community college and stay in the area.  We both think it’s a bad idea, but she is insisting on her plans for him.  How do we handle this TT? (Koster, Kentucky)

(Kosty),

Tell your son to tell your wife that if he wants her opinion, he’ll ask for it.  Otherwise tell her to keep her pie hole shut as she is a complete moron and dope.  He will achieve his goals whether this harridan likes it or not.

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Tough Talk,

My wife and I take cooking lessons with a tutor who comes to our house on a weekend morning.  I always have questions with everything to ready to go.  My wife however is always getting distracted and is always ignoring what he says or manages to do things when he’s talking, like starting to clean up.  I think she’s being rude and disrespectful and I think the tutor does too.  How should I get her to show him consideration? (Dixon, Louisiana)

Dixie,

You’re right.  Your wife is rude and disrespectful.  The next time she does something like this, you tell her in no uncertain terms to stop interrupting and being such a rude and stuck-up snot.  You will need to be harsh, loud and make a scene she will not soon forget.  Nothing like a good shit-storm to make your point.  Don’t be afraid, you have no choice in the matter.

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Tough Talk,

I have a group of friends who work at this social services organization that takes donations and goods on behalf of the less fortunate.  They have worked really hard and gone beyond the call of duty over the years.  It has paid off and one of them has been promoted and now can really take advantage of the constant intake of goods and donations.  There is a whiff of corruption.  She also is letting her friends take advantage and they no longer work the whole day and leave early. And now, they all act high and mighty, forgetting why they got into this field to begin with.  What should I do TT? (Berryman, Colorado)

Berry,

It’s sounds like your so-called friends have let a stupid promotion go to their heads and have shown their true color which is arrogance and selfishness.  You need to take the bull by the horns and tell them they have lost their way and that you are totally disgusted by their behavior. are and find them thoroughly repulsive.  You’ll need to use some tough talk.  They may not like what they hear, but one day they will thank you.  Don’t worry about their feelings.

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Tough Talk,

I have a friend that for years we spoke on the phone anywhere from one to three hours a day as our jobs allowed us to regularly check in on each other.  We talked all the time.  The last week, I get an email from her husband and a snotty text from her daughter telling me I’m a nuisance and should leave her alone already.  I have no idea what I did to offend her.  I’ve called her, but she refuses to talk to me.  What should I do TT? (Military, New Mexico)

(Military),

(First off, thank you for your service.) Unless you are feigning ignorance on backstabbing her, it sounds like she is upset with you for how knows what reason.  The truth is, people turn on their friends every day and all the time.  Not sure why.  Suck it up and move on . . . she’s not a real friend, but a poser.

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Tough Talk,

My cousin is smart, well-off and a bit of a character.  I have always been there for him and helped in ways big and small.  But lately he’s been nasty, rude and condescending if not arrogant.  Not sure why, but he’s really getting bad.  I want to be there for him in his time of need, but we have no idea why he’s been so mean lately.  TT, what should I do? (Louvaine, North Dakota)

(Loovy),

It’s very simple.  It sounds like he’s always been a jerk and you are just noticing it now.  Cut squidley loose and the next time he needs your help, tell him to Buzz off.  And if he asks why, tell him the truth, that he’s a pompous arrogant jerk and he should FO&DD.  Don’t cop out on this.

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Tough Talk,

My cousin’s boyfriend ripped me off some tickets to my favorite band.  He denied it, but he was the only one who could have taken them and he later bragged about it when he was caught in lie and drunk.  I’m very angry, but what gets me TT is that my cousin is making excuses for him and minimizing what he did.  She knows I worked hard for those tickets and it’s my favorite band.  We’ve always been close, but now she is siding with this loser.  How should handle this? (Leonore, Tennessee)

Lenny, 

Find a cute, sentimental object of your cousin’s, like a stuffed animal or favorite shirt, and use it to clean your car or basement or garbage cans and return it to where you found it.  When she gets in your face, just repeat all the crap she told you about her boyfriend.  My guess is she will be too stupid to understand the lesson.  But so what, you’ll have a good time doing it and you will feel good about yourself.

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