Tough Talk

Tough Talk,

I work at a building and one of the security guards is really off-standish and sometimes even rude.  I know what he does is important, but that doesn’t mean he gets to boss people around and act superior.  What do think I should do TT? (Britannia, Idaho)

Britney,

First off, what he does isn’t that important.  He is just a stooge in the apparatus of obedience training.  The next time he pulls this arrogant nonsense, you call him out and loudly say , “You don’t have to be so rude, do you? Learn some manners you arrogant schmuck”  I guaranty, people will support you once they see someone stand up to this snot-nose lickspittle.  Just watch.

###

Tough Talk,

I just started dating a wonderful young lady and she is the kindest, sweetest and prettiest woman I have ever been able to get to go out with me.  There is one problem that she has and that is she has overpowering body odor.  It’s like this cross between a bag of doritoes and a petting zoo.  The most awful stench I have ever encountered.  I’m not sure how to address this issue with her.  Do you have any advice Tough Talk? (Batavia, Rhode Island) 

Batavia,

I do.  I do. You must be brutally honest and speak to her immediately about her hygiene and next steps in getting her past this funk.  I can’t believe her friends and family haven’t sat her down to discuss her body odor problem.  You should enlist their support and have an “intervention” of sorts.  You don’t have any other choice.

###

Tough Talk,

I recently purchased an old style electric egg beater.  One of my neighbors loved it and asked to borrow it for a party I wasn’t invited to .  I knew it was a bad idea but agreed anyways.  After continually asking for it back, she finally admitted that she broke it and would reimburse me if she couldn’t find another one.  After three months, she still hasn’t done anything.  I’m thinking of letting this slide and forgetting about it.  What do you think TT? (Ayer, Ohio)

Ayer,

What the hell is wrong with you?  You march over to her house, bang loudly on the door and demand it back or whatever you paid for it.  My guess is that she is blowing you off and keeping it for herself because that’s the type of backstabbing friend she is.  Like she’s got to keep yours instead of her getting her own.  Don’t tolerate this nonsense.

###

Tough Talk,

I have a good friend who is having a surprise birthday party.  I sent a gift to his sister’s house.  It’s been confirmed as received, but I was thinking of giving a quick phone call just to make sure.  Is this a good idea TT? (Klein, Washington)

Of course, but you need to call at the most annoying time possible.  I suggest around 2AM.  Your friend will appreciate your concern.  And if he doesn’t, too bad.

###

Tough Talk,

I have a younger sister who has developmental disabilities and needs care givers.  My wife and I are successful, but with both of us retiring, we can’t offer the support that he had.  What do you think we should do TT?  (Hershey, Minnesota)

Candy Bar,

Unfortunately in America, you’ll have to end up dropping her off in a state institution.  It’s ugly, it’s bleak, but what other choice do you have?  It’s no different than Iranian nomads leaving their parents to die by the river when they are too old to travel.  Make no mistake, we are moving back to medieval times.  We all should have seen this coming.  I know I did.

###

Tough Talk,

I am sick and tired of my husband who does nothing but complain and mope around the house.  I have pain in my hands and can’t wash the dishes, but insist on a clean house.  That is the only demand I make on him and take care of everything else.  But he refuses to help out in any way.  I’m at my wit’s end TT. What should I do? (Culpepper, Minnesota)

C-pap,

You’re going to have to cold-cock this spoiled brat. Then dump a bucket cold water on him.  Do it when he is complaining.  You have no other choice. 

###

Tough Talk,

I am an elderly person who cares very much about the people around me.  I help out whenever asked and really do a lot for my neighbors and friends.  But for my birthday, no one said a word, sent me a card or did anything nice.  I certainly didn’t expect a surprise party, but some type of acknowlegement. What’s your take on this TT? (Bauman, Indiana)

Bauman,

Sounds like all the people you call friends are indifferent snobs and don’t give a damn about you.  Never too late to get another peer network.  Truthfully, the only people I want to hang out with are kids I went to high school with. Everyone else is beneath them. Cut these squidleys loose.

###

Tough Talk,

I just had a child and the in-laws want to meet her, but I just don’t want to see them right away.  They’re bossy, pushy and expect to be waited on hand and foot.  How long is too long to put off the inevitable TT? (Hickory Hill, Tennessee)

HH,

Why is inevitable?  I wouldn’t deal with them at all considering how they treat you. What’s wrong with you?  Grow a backbone and cut these buzz-kills loose.

###

Tough Talk,

I know this is a stupid question, but do you think I should tell my husband about his hygiene since he can work from home?  He barely shaves or washes anymore except one day of the week when he has to go to the office.  Am I being selfish TT? (Hollybrook, Nevada)

Holly,

You are right.  It is a stupid question and you are being selfish.

###

Hey everybody,

I went to the Supernova Ska Bash in Hampton, VA. Three days (28 hours of 2-Tone Ska). Horseflies bit you and hurt. Awful little burrs and sunburned. But great concert. Be back soon! Tokyo Ska Orchestra, Out of Control, Adhesivo and Rude Girl Revue brought down the house.