Tough Talk

Tough Talk,

I’ve finally met a young lady and after a number of heartbreaking relationships, I think she’s the one.  She says she’s serious about me too.  Her mother is a nice, but I notice that she can be very negative if not surly and makes very mean and snide remarks.  My girlfriend is very close to her and needs to run everything by her.  I want her to be the one, but I also know that her mother will be involved in our relationship more than I will like.  What do you think I should do TT? (Cantwell, Hawaii)

Canterwall,

You need to be honest about your feelings and emotions and tell her that her mother is a nasty piece of work and that she needs to cut her loose.  If she’s not willing to do this, then she is clearly beneath you and she’s gotta go!

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Tough Talk,

I have a friend who I regularly help with his business whenever he is short-staffed and he says he needs my help.  But when I arrive at the work site, he acts like I’m scunging off him or taking advantage of him.  He also can be really snotty to me in front of his regular employees. He also rounds down my pay.  We’ve been friends for years, and I want him to succeed, but I think he’s been rude and condescending.  What do you think TT? (Evanston, Iowa)

Evans,

Your friend is a total jerk and you shouldn’t do jack s*!t for him unless he triples your pay.  You can also tell him you got a better job where he doesn’t have to deal with such a FPOS. Make sure you say this in front of his regular employees too for added effect.

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Tough Talk,

I work at a great office with a lot of interesting characters.  We also regularly have parties for holidays and other special events.  However, one of my co-workers really likes having games and activities. She gets into it too.   I don’t want to be unsocial, but I really hate these types of things.  What should I do TT? (Downing, Illinois)

Downs,

Maybe it’s the water supply, but you need to stop being a squid and tell your co-worker to leave you the hell alone.  If you don’t want to participate, then don’t bother and make it clear you think it’s a waste of time and a complete wackfest.  I guaranty other people feel the same way.

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Tough Talk,

I have a friend who is in her upper 30s and has never been married or had kids.  She has met someone who is nice, but neither of them want children thinking they’re too old.  What can I do to convince them that children are precious and they shouldn’t just give up on parenthood TT? (Crystal, South Dakota)

Crystal,

You need to stop being such a nosey nellie and mind your own goddamn business.  If you want kids, have them yourselves, but don’t push your friends into something they don’t want to do.  Use the brains that God gave you and don’t be such a dope.

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Tough Talk,

My father has been in and out of my life since I can remember.  He shows up with gifts and all the things we’re going to do, but then disappears until the next holiday or birthday – leaving me sad and lonely.  Now he is ill and wants us to help and take care of him when his wife and other children refuse to do so. I’m upset with him, but feel guilty if I don’t help.  What should I do TT? (Sheffield, Florida)

Shuffled,

Tell Dad you’re going to help him and take care of him the way he did for you.  You should then schedule times when you’ll visit, but never show up.  If he complains or gets upset, send him some gum or other cheap candy as a token of your respect.  You can also bring him stuff you wish to throw away or find on the street.  He deserves no less. 

(This column is Post No. 365. Thanking everyone for your support!)

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Tough Talk,

I’ve had a good friend since high school and are very close.  We became friends as we were both ostracized for being overweight.  Mind you TT, it wasn’t severe, but kids mock you out if you weren’t pencil thin (at least at our school).  We’ve stayed close, but she has recently lost a lot of weight due to a medical condition and looks great.  She now is very condescending, if not rude, constantly giving me advice with a hint of derision. I want our friendship to continue, but her attitude is that we never that good of friends to begin with.  What’s your take on this TT? (Potters, Arkansas).   

Potter,

This is very common when a person now believes he or she is better than their friends because of a change in circumstance . . . money, status, physical appearance – whatever.  You need to sit your friend down and tell her just because she lost weight doesn’t all of a sudden maker her better than you or anyone else.  Leave a long pause and then tell her to hit a hardware store and get a pair of pliers so she can remove the bug from up out of her ass.

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Tough Talk,

I have an old friend of our family who has wonderful dinner parties that are the talk of our small little town.  Normally I am not invited, but I recently received an invitation for coffee only – not the entire dinner of course.  I know I should be excited and grateful, but in a strange way, I feel slighted.  What do you think TT? (Kenefick, Alabama)

Kenefickle,

An old friend who doesn’t invite you to her parties except for coffee?  What a wonderful stuck-up snot she is.  And you of course aren’t a dope for being so excited.  Are you going to be cleaning up after everyone too?  You need to pull your head up from up out of your $%# and get a grip.  Tell her to take her invite and SIUHA!  Who does she think she is?

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Tough Talk,

I have a good friend who is going to have her 50^th birthday.  She tells everyone that she doesn’t want any mention of this anywhere and will refuse to accept presents or cards or anything about it.  We will respect her wishes, but everyone wants to celebrate her, especially at this time.  I’m not sure what to do TT? (Olcott, Wyoming)

Olcott,

This is why we have surprise parties.  You need to go with your gut, and throw the biggest bash you can, whether she likes it or not.  And if she won’t come to you, take it to her place.  If she doesn’t like it . . . TS.  Your need to express yourself, especially in this situation, is more important than her need to play primadonna.

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Tough Talk,

I’m friends with a 2^nd grade teacher who had all three of my children in grammar school.  I now regularly see her in social settings and other church functions.  Now whenever we’re in a group, she always brings up how spoiled and below-average my kids were.  I think she’s wrong, but people are entitled to their opinion. However, I think it’s rude to attack my kids after all this time and in social settings.  What do you think TT? (Coolidge, Virginia)

Calvin,

Even worse, I think it’s a gutless toad who would let this go on.  The next time she pipes up, loudly say, “Your kids thought she was the most stupid, arrogant stuck-up teacher they ever had.  Not only was she a complete dope, she was also the most pompous arrogant $%#@*! of all their teachers and she shouldn’t have been anywhere near kids.  Now shut you’re GD piehole.”

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