Tough Talk

Tough Talk,

I Just learned a secret and that is my “sister” is actually my “mother” and my mother is actually a great aunt.  Things were different way back when but even today, it would cause a lot of grief and hard feelings when all these relative realize they’ve been lied to for years.  Also, I’m currently not talking to my “Big Sis” for a bunch of other reasons.  Should I let the cat out of the bag notwithstanding how much grief and anguish that may result?  (Eltham, New Jersey)

Eltham,

Being brutally honest with all your family members is the only solution in this situation.  You need to immediately tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may. If your family gets bent out of joint, that’s their problem . . . not yours.  It’s the only choice you have.

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Join TT in commemorating the 35th President’s 106th Birthday. Happy Memorial Day. I’ve been busy with apartment hunting, but we’ll be back with the emotional honesty you’ve come to expect. Have a great summer.

Tough Talk,

My sister-in law is a nasty piece of work.  She is the wife of my younger brother and as much as I do my best to tolerate her, she is always making rude and snide remarks.  She always has something negative to say.  I tell my brother to snap her in line and he just looks at me like I’m a complete dope.  At the last family picnic, one of great aunts made some chicken curry salad that just wasn’t good.  She just wouldn’t let it drop – – talking and talking about how awful it was and how old our aunt is with all sorts of smug and arrogant comments.  What should I do TT?  (Santa Fe, NM)

Having a snot nose wench as a family member is a very difficult situation which is quite common with how Americans spoil their children rotten.  The best way to approach this is to tell her to shut her GD pie hole when she starts cranking out the ugliness.  TT also believes that you and your brother are probably gutless and must take responsibility for not putting her in her place when this also started.  Tell your brother to be man and not a toad and to take action or else you will!  Nip this in the bus as soon as possible. 

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Tough Talk,

My sister-in law is a nasty piece of work.  She is the wife of my younger brother and as much as I do my best to tolerate her, she is always making rude and snide remarks.  She always has something negative to say.  I tell my brother to snap her in line and he just looks at me like I’m a complete dope.  At the last family picnic, one of great aunts made some chicken curry salad that just wasn’t good.  She just wouldn’t let it drop – – talking and talking about how awful it was and how old our aunt is with all sorts of smug and arrogant comments.  What should I do TT?  (Santa Fe, NM)

Having a snot nose wench as a family member is a very difficult situation which is quite common with how Americans spoil their children rotten.  The best way to approach this is to tell her to shut her GD pie hole when she starts cranking out the ugliness.  TT also believes that you and your brother are probably gutless and must take responsibility for not putting her in her place when this also started.  Tell your brother to be man and not a toad and to take action or else you will!  Nip this in the bus as soon as possible. 

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Tough Talk,

I live in a state that has a five cent bottle deposit law and every week I take them back to my grocery store.  The lady who “guards” the redemption center is a real snot.  She ignores me when I approach, makes an annoyed expression and haughtily takes the bottles and cans and then takes her good sweet time filling out the return slip.  I feel bad if she is having a personal issue and don’t want to start a problem, but I’m actually thinking of writing to the manager as she is so off-standish.  What do you think TT?  (Chassin, Oregon)

Chassin,

I would go to the heart of this problem and ask this woman in your most innocent and sweet demeanor if everything is okay.  Whatever she says, you change your attitude and respond in harsh, angry and your meanest tone that you’re asking because she is acting like a GDSB and tell her to knock it off.  If she gets nasty, then you demand to speak to the corporate regional director for the store.   Don’t waste your time with local management.

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Tough Talk,

I have a condition called stereotosis which is where I daze off, stare at people for extended periods – and sometimes drool as well.  People who don’t know about this think I’m being rude, but it is a bona fide condition and my doctor and I aren’t sure what to do about it after numerous treatments that have not worked at all.  How do you think I should handle this TT? (Long Meadow, Virginia)

Long Meadow,

First off, this isn’t bona fide condition.  Second off, it sounds like your doctor is playing you for a dope and a fool and ripping you off.  You need to get a hold of yourself as you have crossed into whackjob territory.  Just look away.  How hard is that? Stop being a putz.

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Tough Talk,

My boyfriend is a great guy: kind, decent and is a genuinely nice guy.  I’d be lying if I wasn’t thinking of spending my life with him.  Unfortunately, he has a habit that really bothers me.  When we go out to dinner or shopping and we become separated, he yells my name so everyone hears it and looks at me when I go to him.  It always happens when there are tons of people.  I’m really embarrassed, but he is oblivious to this poor behavior and just keeps doing it.  How should I handle this TT? (Audley End, Iowa)

Audley,

I understand this perfectly as my brother dickweed does this too.  It is really embarrassing hearing your name called out in a huge public space with tons of complete strangers.  You should be honest with your feelings and tell hm the next time you go out and he pulls this maneuver, you’re going to take off and leave him there looking like the moron that he is.  Make sure you are in control of the transportation and tell him to stop being such a JO.  ###

Tough Talk,

My sister keeps her cat litter in the kitchen where my 14 year old niece always goes to when we’re visiting her aunt.  I ask my sister to move the cat litter as it places my niece in danger.  But she refuses.  Can’t she see how this could spill out of control and hurt this young girl?  How do I get her to see the light TT?  (Stonecroft, Louisiana)

Stonehead,

The only person who needs to see the light is you.  Your 14 year old niece always goes to the cat litter, does she?  Is she taking her life into her hands by going near the cat litter?  If this little girl has a problem, it’s because she’s hanging out with you. Pull your head out from up out of your cornshoot and get a life and stop being a dope.

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Tough Talk,

I come from a large and extended family where we have been close going back decades no matter how far apart we are. However, my younger brother married a woman who always seems to be starting problems and keeping us apart.  We’ve spoken to him about this, but he looks at you like you’re speaking Greek.  He gets this dazed, docile look in his eyes.

One of our great aunts recently passed away and he showed up by himself and without his wife.  Even though it was rude that she was not there, we were glad as we had a good time talking with all our brothers, sisters and cousins and not having her pompous and arrogant attitude around.  Then she calls him and demands that he run to the grocery store and pick up a laundry list of feminine toiletries.  He runs out the door like a trained seal or bunny rabbit. It was disgusting.  We love our brother, but this is too much.  What should we do TT? (Cloister Court, South Dakota)

CC,

Your brother is what we used to call pussy-whipped.  It’s when a guy is so gutless, he allows a woman to run his life.  The best way to handle this is that for future family gatherings, you send his wife a message humbly beseeching her permission to release gutless toad from her control for that limited period of time. You copy your brother emphasizing that it’s totally up to his wife and he has no choice in the matter.  Make it clear that he is a whiney little puppy dog with no control over his own life.  Let’s see what happens.

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Tough Talk,

My ex-sister-in-law went through a bitter divorce after she learned that my brother cheated on her.  He wasn’t perfect, but neither was she.  But because of all the proof she had, my niece and nephews think she is a saint and their Dad is a piece of crap.  I just learned that she also had an affair while she was married too.  I don’t want to stir up the past and cause any problems, but she has always acted holier than thou – as if she’s so innocent and pure.  What do you think I should do TT?  (Freemont, Utah)

Freemont,

You need to immediately bring this to the attention of the entire family and community.  But you need to do it as if you’re just trying to confirm the story – you don’t believe it yourself.  Don’t let it rest and keep bringing it up.  Don’t worry about the ramifications of exposing her and what it does to the family.  Maybe an ad in the local paper. Always reveal hypocrisy when you can.  You have no other choice in this matter.

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