Tough Talk

Tough Talk,

My son is a talented athlete and is always competing in some sport.  I have always gone to his sport metes and games ever since he was little and we are so proud of him.  But now as a teenager, he is now telling me and my husband that we don’t need to come to his games or competitions anymore.  But then, we did miss three events and he got all bent of joint over it.  Not sure what to do.  We honored his request then he gets upset.  What should we do TT?  (Sietta, South Carolina)

Sietta,

You tell your young man, you will go where you want to go and if he doesn’t like it, there’s the door.  Who does he think he is saying something like that, and then when you do what he asks, he turns around and gets in your face?  You have spoiled him too much and must take immediate action to knock him into line.  He is acting too big for his britches. The longer you avoid this responsibility, the worse he will become.  Don’t wait a moment longer.

###

Tough Talk,

I’ve been invited to my niece’s wedding.  She is a wonderful young lady, bubbly and perky.  When she was in grammar school, I would babysit her when her mom was getting on her feet after a bad relationship.  We were always close, but have grown apart these past few years.  There are several events planned, but I have only been invited to the dinner and I’ve heard I will be in one of the back tables.  I understand that I need to be reasonable, but there are other family and friends who never gave her or her mother the time of day, but are now part of the main festivities. Should I say anything about this or let it slide?  (Andobra, Washington)

Andobbie,

You should immediately bring this to your niece’s attention and tell this perky, bubbly young lady how offended you are after all you did for her.   It also  sounds like she’s sucking up to these people, probably for money.  Make sure you voice your concerns before the big day.

###

Dear Tough Talk,

I’m getting married soon and I sent out several invitations that were returned as no-shows.  I later heard that these friends and relatives aren’t attending because we have decided to get a condominium in the city instead of a white house and picket fence in the suburbs.  I’m not sure why that would make them avoid our wedding.  I’ve seen them a couple of times and they’re all friendly, but there is something not right.  What do you think?  (Wolf Hollow, South Dakota)

Wolfy,

I think you need to understand that these so-called friends and relatives are backstabbing losers.  Wake up: You invite these people you care about to one of the most important days of your life and they say sorry, you don’t meet with my approval.  Why would you waste your time having anything to do with them?  You should have a great day and wash your hands of these guttersnipes.  They did you a favor by exposing themselves for who they are. Cut them loose and don’t look back.

###

Tough Talk,

I have a little sister who I have always loved and adored.  She’s had a tough life, but was always there for me when I needed her most.  After years of struggling, I did well and decided to thank her by starting a college fund for her only child.  He unfortunately never cared about education or really anything other than partying and getting over on his girlfriends. As much as we hate to admit it, he is a disappointment and wonder when he will be arrested.  My sister has been ill and really needs some assistance.  I’d like to use this fund for her care, but I know it will upset her that it’s a sign that I know he will not be going to college, a dream we both had as children, but knew it wasn’t in the cards.  How should I handle this Tough Talk?  (Forthburg, Indiana)

Forthy, Don’t worry about your sister’s reaction, worry about her care.  If she complains, you tell her that her son is a degenerate scoundrel and is going to wind up in prison. He’s a real piece of crap. It sounds like you should have been doing this a long time ago and maybe he wouldn’t be such an embarrassment.  But you need to be brutally honest, life-threatening disease or not.

###

Tough Talk,

I’m 11 years old and play in the school orchestra.  My instrument is really popular and tons of kids play guitar.  There’s one kid who is always watching how I play and keeps asking me to hang out and practice.  I think he’s a loser and I want to tell him to drop dead, but his mother knows my mother.  I think he’s up to no good, like he’s talking behind my back and I saw him laughing at me once or twice.  I just don’t trust this kid.  What do you think I should do? (Soyack, NJ)

Soyack,

I can tell you’re a smart kid and you should trust your instincts.  When it comes to music and arts, people are very competitive it sounds like he considers you some type of threat.  I suggest you say yeah, let’s hang out and tell him to meet you in a very dangerous or isolated area.  I’m not sure what your neighborhood is like, but everywhere in America there are unsavory areas to send him to, especially in New Jersey.  If he gets in your face, tell him tough %@$#!*.  If you fear a retaliation or getting set up for a beating, I suggest a pepper spray or pepper gun.  That would be an acceptable use of force for a person your age.  Also, a can of hair spray and a lighter is a homemade flame thrower.  Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.  Stay cool little dude. 

###

Tough Talk,

My best friend’s sister experienced a tragic loss when her husband was killed in a car crash.  We all feel bad, but when it was all said and done, he was a piece of crap who enjoyed starting problems and pointing out people’s faults.  He had a real nasty streak and most people did not like him.  And that goes for his wife who always stood by him like a complete idiot.  Now she is always talking about him like he was a saint and incredibly brilliant.  She is still in mourning so I don’t want to hurt her feelings at such a vulnerable time for her TT, but I’m tired of the continual nonsense spilling out of her mouth.  What should I do? (Putica, MI)

Puticer,

Mourning or not, you need to sit her down and tell her that her husband was a piece of crap, just like you said and in your own words, and that she is no prized pig herself.  Certainly you know of plenty of his faults to bring up and make it crystal clear that your opinions are widely shared and that people really hated that dingleberry.  It may be harsh, but wind up by saying everyone is glad he kicked the bucket.  He was a real loser.  For your sake as well as hers, you don’t have any other choice.

###

Tough Talk,

My wife’s brother is a good person, but his wife is a nasty piece of work and comes from a nasty bunch of folks.  I’ve done my best to be kind, decent and magnanimous. Unfortunately they are arrogant, stupid and downright mean people.  There is some wedding anniversary coming up and they are all making demands on me and my wife, an in-law. Like we’re supposed to host a motorcycle gang in our house.  If it weren’t for his wife, they would be complete strangers.  I’m not sure what I should do TT.  (Brooker’s Bridge, NH) 

BB,

You know exactly what to do.  You tell them to do their own party planning.  If they don’t like it, tell them that there is an awesome hotel where they will have the greatest time.  They will be waited on hand and foot and will love it.  Just ask for the time and day of arrival. Everything and anything they could possibly want will be waiting for them. Then you give them the address of the local police station or county sheriff’’s office.  They will have a delightful experience in store for them.

###

Tough Talk,

I just had a milestone anniversary of my rise to my current position.  My children and grandchildren threw the most delightful party I have had in ages.  Unfortunately, I forgot a couple people from the invite list and they missed it.  I feel bad and I know they are upset.  I can just feel it TT.  What should I do? (Honniger, California)

Honnigel,

The first question I have is whether you did it on purpose or not.  If you did, then you should stop being a coward, be up front and tell them to their face that they weren’t invited because they pissed you off some way or another.  Now if you did make a mistake, don’t be a dope and schmuck and apologize and take them out to dinner, but nothing fancy.   Maybe some wonder bread, baloney and mayo sandwiches or ritz crackers and peanut butter – don’t break a twenty, and that’s being generous.

###

Tough Talk,

My great aunt’s second husband recently passed away.  He was a fine and decent man which is a euphemism for saying he had a lot of money.  “Aunt Sophie” has started seeing a man only three months after the funeral.  They are traveling together and there are rumors that they may elope.  I met this man once, and although he seems nice enough, there is something about him I just don’t like.  I want my aunt to be happy in the winter of her life, but I don’t want her to make a mistake and get burned, especially since she’s pushing 80.  What do think Tough Talk?  (Austin, MO)

Austin,

I understand what it’s like to love a vulnerable family member in these times of need.  You only want what is best for her.  Unfortunately, what is best for her may not be what she wants to hear or do.  You must follow your heart and tell her your feelings and that this new guy is just looking to rip you off and leave you high and dry.  Have you thought about investigating his past and where he comes from?  If you really cared about your aunt, you would have done this by now.  You need to get the bottom of this and tell her in no uncertain terms that she is a dope for not even protecting herself and that goes for you too.

###

Tough Talk,

My husband and I recently retired and it has been simply delightful.  We feel great and are having the best times of our lives.  We’re lucky to have family and friends and friendly neighbors.  It becomes overwhelming sometimes as people are always calling and texting about the most mundane of things, even going to the bathroom and how the toilet roll is placed.  I’ve worked hard for several years and want to enjoy my time as long or as short as it may be.  I love these people, but need some distance and don’t want to hurt their feelings.  What should I do TT?  (Tooger’s Bluff, SC)

This is very simple Tooger’s, but you have to be tough on your friends and family.  One at time, you tell them you don’t give a damn about their stupid and boring problem and you have better things to do with your time.  You must underline your response with a firm, “You may only contact me once a day other than emergency circumstances.”  One by one, there will be an immediate and noticeable drop-off in calls and texts.  Also, anyone who actually cares about how the toilet paper is placed is a dope and putz of the highest order.  Don’t cop out.  This is your only solution.

###