Tough Talk

Today’s Column: July 21, 2020

Tough Talk,

I have a good friend who moved away from our small town almost five years ago and is now moving back for a new job.  I’m excited and glad, but concerned as this friend is always finding ways to put people down.  When we were younger, it was funny and a great way to pass the time.  However, I have grown up and no longer like nasty comments about our friends, family and neighbors.  But he just doesn’t seem to get the point.  It wasn’t a problem when he was in another state, but now returning home, I know that he hasn’t changed and will continue to insult people, a lot of whom are now my friends and in some instances co-workers.  How should deal with this problem – he rubs everyone the wrong way?  (Philadelphia, Mississippi)

Philadelphia,

You need to tackle this problem head on and tell that snot-nosed dingleberry that his immature and rude comments are no longer appreciated and it is time to grow up.  Who the hell is he to say anything about anybody?  Next time he spouts off, you tell him to keep his GD mouth shut.    

Today’s Column: July 20, 2020

Dear TT,

I’ve got this neighbor who is constantly watching and observing me and my family.  She seems harmless, but we’ve been hearing rumors from friends that she talks about us non-stop and is always mocking out my children.  Just because my daughters aren’t the most beautiful young girls is no reason to insult them, especially when she hasn’t even met them.  Plain sick of hearing her nonsense, what should we do TT?  (Rebarb, Kentucky)

Dear Rebarb,

You have to respond very carefully to make sure she can’t bust you and make sure your daughters know nothing about it (as kids talk), but I suggest you start prank calling her and vandalizing her property if you are able. As for prank calls, have pizza delivered to her or some other food.  This is also good if you have a dispute with the business you are having deliver to her door.  As for the vandalism, you can sabotage her vehicle or damage her yard with chemicals.  Just don’t get caught Rebarb. 🙂

Tough Talk,

My sister “D” is a wonderful girl, funny, loving and vivacious.  She’s helpful and considerate without ever having to be asked.  When our mother was in the hospital, she took care of everything.  And not so much as asked anyone for anything.  But she has one nasty habit that I want your advice on.  She snaps on people with no reason and out of nowhere.  Sometimes she’s right, but the way her temper flares can be really scary.  It just happens and people walk away with their feelings hurt and stop calling and coming over.  What should we do TT?  (Lawford, PA)

Dear Lawford,

This is a very easy problem to solve, especially if you have other family member and friends willing to help out.  All you need to do is the next time your sister pipes up like this, you douse with a bucket of cold water and scream, “Shut up you miserable piece of crap!”  That will get her attention and focus herself on her behavior to such a point, that she will stop being so GD obnoxious. 

Dear ToughTalk,

I work with a guy who is always talking trash about our coworkers.  Up front, he’s a nice guy to their face, but then as soon as he or she leaves, he mocks them out twenty ways to Sunday.  Sometimes he’s funny, but most of the time he’s just plain mean and nasty.  It gets tired real fast.  And I know he does it to me as well.  I can just tell.  What should I do TT?  (Cincinnati, PA)

The best way to handle this is to do straight for the throat.  The next time you’re talking to someone, bring up the what he said about them.  “You seem so nice now, but last time you said . . .“  It may be embarrassing at first but you will see the results.  Also, you should repeat everything he’s said about those people to those people.  I promise you, things will change.  Just don’t be a cowardly little woose because he probably thinks you’re with him on it.  Why else would he talk to you?

Today’s Column: July 6, 2020

Tough Talk,

My sister-in law is a nasty piece of work.  She is the wife of my younger brother and as much as I do my best to tolerate her, she is always making rude and snide remarks.  She’s bitter and rude.  I tell my brother to snap her in line and he just looks at me like I’m a complete moron.  At the last family picnic, one of our great aunts made some chicken curry salad that just wasn’t good.  She just wouldn’t let it drop – – talking and talking about how awful it was and how old our aunt is with all sorts of smug and arrogant comments.  What should I do TT?  (Santa Fe, NM)

Having a snot nose wench as a family member is a very difficult situation which is quite common with how Americans spoil their children rotten.  The best way to approach this is to tell her to shut her GD pie hole when she starts cranking out the ugliness.  TT also believes that you and your brother are probably gutless and must take responsibility for not putting her in her place when this also started.  Tell your brother to be man and not a toad and to take action or else you will!  Nip this in the bus as soon as possible. 

Tough Talk,

I love my wife and she is the apple of my eye.  But lately she has developed a horrendous body odor problem.  She smells like a cross between Doritos and a petting zoo.   Don’t want to hurt her feelings but it’s putting a damper on things.  What should I do TT?

TT says that honesty is the best policy and you should talk to your love about her foul odors.  It may be painful and embarrassing, but you have no other choice.  Talk to her right now and don’t be a coward.