Tough Talk

Tough Talk,

I’m living with this woman and I knew it was going to be a bad idea, but thought to give it a shot.  What do I have to loose?  She has turned into a psycho and talks non-stop about the most inane things.  Like who gives a damn that the toilet paper was put in wrong?  She’s also threatening to make my life a living hell if we break up. I need to get out of this relationship, but am not sure how to do it.  (Hastings, Texas)

Hasty,

Very simple.  Tell her you love her more than life itself, but you need some space to improve yourself for her benefit.  Then you set up a pup tent or tarp made out of garbage bags for her in the backyard or local park and start moving her belongings to her new palace.  It’s for her best. It won’t be long before you are tossed out of the house.  Annoying and other foul habits will move this along too.

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Tough Talk,

I have a good friend from high school and we recently were talking and he told me how he wants to be buried with his dog which he has frozen in his freezer.  We’re in our early 40s and in good health.  Not sure what to make of this, but I just don’t think it’s a good idea. What do you think TT? (Ritchlawn, Kentucky)

Ritchley,

You can say that again.  Your friend sounds like a total wack job, which makes you one too.  I suggest you “borrow” the pooch and send him a ransom note for crappy goods and cheap cereal.  See how long you can jerk him along, but make sure he gets his dog back, but completely dethawed.  He’ll thank you for being such a good friend.

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Tough Talk,

My wife and I are part of a social circuit with several other couples.  One of the couples clearly does not like us and they are always off-standish and stuck-up, like spoiled brat girls from high school.  We both have daughters the same age and they like each other very much.  Their daughter invited our girl to a party and sleep-over and she wants to go.  What do you think TT? (Bruce, Louisiana)

Bruce,

Tell your daughter, no . . . she may not.  And then say it’s because her friend’s parents are jerks and dingbats and you don’t want their ugliness and evil rubbing off on you.  And then make sure she tells her friend. ### 

Tough Talk,

My husband and I have a delightful granddaughter who just became a teenager and even though she can be a handful, she’s a good kid.  Recently however, her parents have been getting in my face because I give her advice about being a good and honest person.  I guess she uses it against them when they have arguments.  I just want to be helpful and not start any problems, but her parents are really getting hostile.  What should I do TT? (Olympic, Maryland)

Olympy,

The best way to handle this is to point out what awful parents they are and that their daughter has more on the ball in one day than they do in a dozen lifetimes.  You should also mention that they are incompetents and buffoons as parents.  And then say TS&DD.

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Tough Talk,

I have an uncle and he used to be so much fun to be with, but now he is turning into an old curmudgeon and doesn’t want to see or visit with anyone.  He’s often bitter and snide and just wish he would be the same fun-loving person we knew growing up.  What should I do TT? (Weston, Washington)

Westy,

The best thing to do is tackle this straight on and demand why he is turning into a BHS and then follow it up with those greeting cars that are insulting but make the point that he has turned into a JO of the highest order.  You may also want to give him a nickname that is both demeaning and insulting. Don’t hold back. ###

Tough Talk,

I have a good friend whose mother is going into the hospital for some minor surgery.  I feel bad, but don’t want to overdramatize this situation.  What do you think I should say? (Connelly, Minnesota,)

Connie,

Tell her not to get ripped off and to keep an eye on all her belongings. That’s the best thing I can tell you.  The medical industry is out and out thievery.

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Tough Talk,

I’m friends with a woman who is a little younger than I am and she is very nice, but if I ever have a problem or set-back, she tries to turn it into a major catastrophe and continually keeps calling me to see what’s going on.  Sometimes you just want to talk to a person to vent, but she blows it out of proportion.  What should I do TT? (Manhart, Alaska)

Manhurst,

Tell your friend that she needs to mind her own business for her own protection.  Otherwise, her life will be immediately placed in jeopardy. If you turn on the light in a dark room, you’ll never know what you’ll find.  And if she doesn’t shut her big fat mouth, she is taking her life into her hands.

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Tough Talk,

I really love my husband and his family.  They are the finest people in our little community.  His younger brother however is a bit of a handful . . . let’s say.  He is very nice until he has a couple beers and then he gets down right mean.  I know my husband loves him, but I just don’t like him around when he drinks.  What should I do TT?  (Proctor, Pennsylvania) 

Protractor,

The next time he starts drinking, get a bucket of cold water ready.  Be honest with your feelings and tell him he is a nasty drunk which makes him a loser and you want him to leave.  When he ignores you or laughs in your face, dump the bucket on him.  Let me know what happens.  (Also, your little community sounds like a wackfest of losers and squids.)

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Tough Talk,

I’m a little embarrassed to tell you this, but my husband loves soap operas.  The cheesier the better.  He spends all his time watching these shows and has no time for anything else.  I’m not sure what happened to him, but he just stares in front of his phone, computer and tv all day. He is useless as the day is long.  What do you think I should do TT? (Mashia, Michigan) 

Mash,

I’d be embarrassed too.  What you need to do is put the kahbosh on this ridiculous nonsense ASAP.  Take all his devices to watch this moronic skullduggery and toss it in the trash.  Don’t worry if he complains, just say stop being a whiney little girl and of he keeps it up, you’ll tell everyone he knows.  And then tell him to get a life and stop being such a pathetic loser.

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Tough Talk,

I was engaged to someone I thought was the most wonderful person until I discovered he has been stealing from me and using my identity for all sorts of unsavory purposes.  The engagement is off, but I’m not sure when I should stop wearing his ring.  When is the right time to take it off? (Palos, New Mexico)

Palos,

It’s totally up to you, but not sure why you should still be wearing it after what he did to you.  That’s a really stupid question and something is really wrong with you, maybe a brain tumor or something. 

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