Tough Talk

Dear Tough Talk,

I work with a man who is really smart and most of the time a good guy.  In our office, we support each other by complimenting those who do good work or just try to do well. He is regularly complimented, but never seems to do the same.  I’ve spoken with my coworkers and they all say the same thing, he has never once said anything good about an employee, having even made snide remarks.  What do you think we should do TT?  (Weehawken, VA)

Weehawken,

You only have one option and that is to repay the favor.  Unless it’s absolutely necessary, you completely ignore him as if he does not exist.  No compliments, no insults, but a complete absence of attention, other than condescending and dismissive looks when he speaks.  If he pipes up, say you have no idea what’s he’s talking about.

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Tough Talk,

I’m part of a bowling league and there are teams that always compete year after year.   There are so many people and the main discussion is their score and handicap.  Even though we’ve bowled for years, I can’t remember these numbers.  I feel guilty even though they don’t remember my stats either.  There is unease if not a mild contempt when I can’t remember what they told me two days before.  What do you think Tough Talk? (Brawthers Peek, Nevada)

BP,

Who gives a damn?  If they don’t like it tell them to FO&DD!

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TT,

I have to give a presentation for work in a couple weeks and I’m really nervous.  I have always been bad and hated public speaking.  I can’t sleep and everything else is not getting done, at work and at home.  Tough Talk, what do you think I should do?  (Hamilton, Kentucky)

Hamilton,

Very simple.  If it’s causing you this much stress, just blow it off.  As I see it, who the hell are they to put you in this situation?  How dare they . . how dare they! The morning of this wackfest you call a “presentation,” call in sick and tell everyone you have a really disgusting condition you can’t discuss and if they don’t like it to ES.  You are only limited by your imagination. Problem solved.

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Tough Talk,

My husband passed away about a year ago and I have become a part-time employee of our marriage counselor and deacon at our congregation.  In the past, he was kind and supportive, but since my husband passed away there has been a change in his tone, like he is now my spiritual guide and I should always talk to him before I do aything.  What really bothers me is last week after we talked, he hugged me and held me really close.  It was unhealthy TT, if you know what I mean.  And his wife and children were in the next room.  Should I feel bad for wanting to distance myself from him? (Galman, Texas)

Galman,

The only thing you should feel bad about is asking such a stupid question in the first place.   This POS wackjob clearly wants to get into your sugar sack.  You must cut him loose immediately and tell everyone what you just told me.  Be honest and think about issuing a public statement or ad in your local newspapers and church bulletins.  It may not be common in the US, but it is very common overseas.  What else can you do?

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Tough Talk,

My husband passed away about a year ago and I have become a part-time employee of our marriage counselor and deacon at our congregation.  In the past, he was kind and supportive, but since my husband passed away there has been a change in his tone, like he is now my spiritual guide and I should always talk to him before I do aything.  What really bothers me is last week after we talked, he hugged me and held me really close.  It was unhealthy TT, if you know what I mean.  And his wife and children were in the next room.  Should I feel bad for wanting to distance myself from him? (Galman, Texas)

Galman,

The only thing you should feel bad about is asking such a stupid question in the first place. This POS wackjob clearly wants to get into your sugar sack.  You must cut him loose immediately and tell everyone what you just told me.  Be honest and think about issuing a public statement or ad in your local newspapers and church bulletins.  It may not be common in the US, but it is very common overseas.  What else can you do?

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Tough Talk,

I have always been up in the air about having children.  Nothing  against them, but I never had this overwhelming urge to have kids like my brother and sister do.  I have finally met the woman of my dreams who is also hesitant and has medical concerns as well.  What is bothering me is my brother and sister are always asking us about having kids in front of our parents and their kids.  There are times I just want to tell them to shut up and mind their own business, but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  What do you think you think I should do TT?  (Tordella, Texas)

Tortillini,

Very simple.  You tell your brother and sister the next time they pipe up about you having children, you say, “You’ll be the first to know!  Otherwise, shut your G*&*&^%$%$@ mouth.  You sound like a broken record. And if you don’t like it, FO&DD” 

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Tough Talk,

Recently, I was at a sporting event and when the national anthem was being played, two men were staring at me with daggers in their eyes.  I realized it was because I didn’t place my hand over my heart like they were doing.  It wasn’t out of disrespect, but because I can’t bend and lift my right arm.  They didn’t say anything, but I felt offended and they kept glaring at me on and off throughout the night.  Should I have done something TT?  (Borne, Montana)

Borne,

Who do these dingleberries think they are?  You should have gone right up to them and screamed, “I can’t lift my arm – how dare you?  Who the hell do you think you are you arrogant snots?”  Make a scene.  They will either back down or try to defend themselves.  If they say anything, accuse them of threatening a handicapped person and you don’t have to tolerate it.  That’s how you handle these types of morons in a public setting.  Unfortunately, it’s all too common with all these masked morons today.

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Dear Tough Talk,

I am a grandfather with seven incredible grandkids.  We love them dearly and having their birthday parties at our home.  We can’t go a few weeks without something to celebrate.  One thing that bothers me however is that my wife refuses to help with preparing, entertaining and cleaning up the mess after everyone leaves.  I don’t mind, but when I ask her for some help she ignores me and says something like, “Welcome to the club,” or “It’s your party.”  Do you think she is taking advantage of me Tough Talk?  (Choogler, Tennessee)

Choogles,

What other conclusion can you draw?  Your wife is a very selfish and haughty.  I find her repulsive on many levels.  How do you tolerate this nonsense?  You must find the things that annoy her, bad odors, noises, comments, etc.  Then once you have figured out four or five petty annoyances that will offend her, you shoot them at her like and archer shooting an arrow.  Then tell her to get off her plump cheeks and get to work.  You’re sick of her nonsense.

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Tough Talk,

I am in my early 40s and single.  I would just like to meet a woman who wants to be with me.  Unfortunately, I have this condition where I drool and stare at people.  It’s not just a bad a habit, but a real condition I have been diagnosed for: scrockaphilia.  Also, I have random and unpredictable outbursts of belching and with the drool, you get the picture.  I have joined numerous dating sites and when I finish the profiles, I get no responses.  Do you think I should lie or not tell a potential date about this TT?  (Chakerstown, Kansas)

C-town,

If I’ve said it once, I have said it a thousand times, honesty is the best policy . . . except in this situation.  I don’t see what other choice you have if you want to get in the door.  In the future, don’t volunteer this information and when your condition does show itself on a date, blame it on some childhood tragedy that will evoke sympathy and pity.  Maybe some vacuum tube sucked candy out of your face or you accidentally ate a firecracker.  Be creative, but you don’t have any other choice in this matter if you want to meet that special lady.

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Tough Talk,

I’m very close to my mother and we’ve been through some tough times together.  And after years of being alone and single, she has finely met a very nice man who treats her very well.  In fact so well Tough Talk, that I barely see or talk to her anymore.  She’s always going somewhere and says she will call me back, but never does.  I don’t want to cramp her lifestyle after she is happy and enjoying her later years in life.  But deep down I feel sad and rejected.  What should I do?  (Reethersburg, Indiana)

Reebee,

You are entitled to your feelings and the next time you talk to your mom, you demand to see her at your earliest convenience.  When she avoids you, don’t take no for an answer and when you’re supposed to meet up with her, blow her off.  If you can interfere with her plans, that would be even better.   And then if she gets in your face, act surprised that she doesn’t like getting blown-off herself and then bring up all the times that she wouldn’t give you the time of day.  Hopefully, she will get the point.  If not, keep doing it until she does.  You won’t be sorry.

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